Feeling Luxurious

Talking about luxurious, I will think of shopping. And each time I tell myself I must buy something that I longed for,I'll ended up buying nothing. I should say I'm stingy on buying my own stuff, always desist whenever I look at the price tags.. Urrgghhh...
My friends used to say, "You should treat yourself better, it's ok to buy it with that price. A penny gets a penny's quality." Talking about quality, I think I'm more obsessed with quantity. I hunt for cheap and pretty stuff, so I'll only buy clothes that's less than 25 bucks, cosmetics less than 50 bucks, etc...
*Seriously, fml!*


Now, since I'm turning 21 soon. I think I should reward myself. Enough with all the "little-stingy-penny-pinching-auntiness" attitude, I want to get myself branded stuff! 


I looked through the internet and these babies just caught my attention! But, I kinda having trouble in deciding which to buy. Help me? >.<

These Chanel purse and bag comes in a set and they look so pretty. But, it's kinda too pinkish. 

 Or maybe I should get a white one? But, boyfie said it' won't stay white when it falls into my hand. *blush*

But, wait! I love this Hermes bag too! It looks so much trendy, right?

Burberry Chester Nova Boston Handbag? 

Too ladylike? o.O? 

 However, compared to the bags. I'm 100% positive that I need purse more!

So, this Chanel purse? Or the previous one?

Or maybe I should get Burberry purse instead? 

*Grrr.... I'm in major contradictory! Advices please?*

I'm annoying i know. I feel like giving myself one big slap too. HAHAHAHA... *butIreallydon'tknowwhattochoose* INeedHelp.

Okay, I'm gonna work harder and earn harder to get these babies home! Babies, momma's gonna bring you home. Wait for me okay? 

GOGOGO JASMINE LIM! Target for June! 

Depth

I have a secret. A secret I've been keeping deep inside my heart since I was young.

# I'm fragile, I'm weak, and very dependent.#

My forever secret.
It all began when I was a little kid.
I cry very easily, my tears are like raindrops. Surge out from my eyes in a flash of time.
I cannot stand with any bad comments, I cannot accept any criticism, I cannot overcome any pain, I cannot receive any scoldings....
My heart will ache, my body will shake, my lips will fake a smile, somehow I'm only trying my best to resist the tears surging out.
Well, from one point of view, I'm weak and useless. Total failure.
But, from the other point of view, I'm ego, I can't accept anything else except victory and success.
I'm such a scary person.


Through the years, I've been wearing masks called jovial and optimistic. But behind the mask, from my real face and back down into my heart, I truly know how I am, how weak how fragile I am. I had bad memories, I met jerks at the past and I lost my dignity for spoiling the jerk. This traumatic experience haunts me FOREVER. This shadow never leaves me. Not even a mm away. I locked it in the dungeon built inside my left chamber.


Today, I see sun and rainbows. I met my prince. Unfortunately, my prince strengthened my weakness. I became weaker and even dependent than before. I can't do anything without him. So useless and worthless. I'm no longer my daddy's independent little girl. I'm a coward. Little fragile "taufu". Or perhaps "taufufa" (fa-flower. Means the prettiest) 
*OK, it was lame*

I have to change. I need to be independent! I have to be! Jasmine Lim, you must change! You must grow up!