Depth

I have a secret. A secret I've been keeping deep inside my heart since I was young.

# I'm fragile, I'm weak, and very dependent.#

My forever secret.
It all began when I was a little kid.
I cry very easily, my tears are like raindrops. Surge out from my eyes in a flash of time.
I cannot stand with any bad comments, I cannot accept any criticism, I cannot overcome any pain, I cannot receive any scoldings....
My heart will ache, my body will shake, my lips will fake a smile, somehow I'm only trying my best to resist the tears surging out.
Well, from one point of view, I'm weak and useless. Total failure.
But, from the other point of view, I'm ego, I can't accept anything else except victory and success.
I'm such a scary person.


Through the years, I've been wearing masks called jovial and optimistic. But behind the mask, from my real face and back down into my heart, I truly know how I am, how weak how fragile I am. I had bad memories, I met jerks at the past and I lost my dignity for spoiling the jerk. This traumatic experience haunts me FOREVER. This shadow never leaves me. Not even a mm away. I locked it in the dungeon built inside my left chamber.


Today, I see sun and rainbows. I met my prince. Unfortunately, my prince strengthened my weakness. I became weaker and even dependent than before. I can't do anything without him. So useless and worthless. I'm no longer my daddy's independent little girl. I'm a coward. Little fragile "taufu". Or perhaps "taufufa" (fa-flower. Means the prettiest) 
*OK, it was lame*

I have to change. I need to be independent! I have to be! Jasmine Lim, you must change! You must grow up!